When I drunkenly stumbled home, I was intrigued by the sight of my neighbor's daughter, who is usually left alone because her parents both work, squatting in front of my door with her underwear exposed. I blurted out a line I wouldn't normally say, "Can't get into your house? Want to come to mine!?" To my surprise, she nodded sadly and rolled into my room!! And so, fueled by the alcohol-induced momentum...